Sunday, June 12, 2011
I gave up this blog back in April, thinking that I had no business here. I missed coming to this quiet place, trim my vegetables here, clear my thoughts, take stock of the detritus of life that can only be seen from this vantage point.
So, when does that occur?
Most likely, after you have reached a time when you can see the end in sight. I'm betting on ten more years in my case. In ten more years, even this simple task of trimming leeks and artichokes will become too hard to do. My mother had rheumatoid arthritis in her hands and arms early on, starting in her fifties.
My hands have served me valiantly for about seventy years now. My eyes too. My legs not so well. My heart, my other vital organs have kept me going. But I can tell that I'm growing weaker because after a small hike, I need to rest. Often, I feel deep pains in my joints that just seem to pop up from nowhere. Something is wrong with my shoulders, after exercising them, after sitting down on the computer, after sweeping. My shoulders and my hip joints are harbingers of what will become of this body.
Some of you are turning away from these thoughts, feigning ignorance, or deliberate denial.
Machines have a life cycle; houses have a life cycle. So do people.
Some of us are eager to renovate parts. I'm not looking forward to going under a knife, not even for getting cataract surgery, though I have heard nothing but good things from my hubby who had both eyes operated on.
I think sharing our fears and our conditions will help us find a good balance in our lives at this age.
Getting to know people who have gone through these stages helps to have the right information.
So, go on, share away.
Tell us what conditions worry you.
Are you doing the renovations of your body, or are you just postponing the inevitable?